I hate to confess, but I have been hiding out - kind of. I have been hiding away with my tail tucked between my legs because I have failed. I have been hiding from not only you, but from me also. I have not wanted to confess to myself or others that I failed. I gave myself a 30-Day Challenge and I failed. I did OK for most of it, but the last week was a total bust! There was lack of motivation, school started with financial aid and registration issues, work, and blah blah blah whine whine whine....... Bottom line......I didn't do what I set out to do and I have been hiding out not wanting to face the music.
Now what have I done to redeem myself, you ask?? Have I gotten up, dusted myself off, geared up and hit the pavement? Have I dealt with it by bonding with my yoga mat? NO, I have not. I have done what I always seem to do and just did nothing.
I am so tired of just doing nothing. Just because I don't succeed in the way that I hoped doesn't mean I totally failed. What makes me totally fail is the fact that I didn't get up and keep moving forward! I am so frustrated with me right now! I have started a blog, made aims to better me, gotten a trainer, run a couple races and because this challenge didn't go as well as I thought, I just give up?? That is NOT how I want to be.
So how how how am I going to redeem myself. I don't know yet, but I know it has to be something personal and realistic for me and something I really want to do. I am mulling over a mileage challenge - you know, like x-miles in x-days - but I don't know yet. I am going to think about it and decide by the end of the week.
I think one thing I am going to do is to try to find a running group. I have friends I can run with, but I honestly think I am too comfortable with them and so I don't let them push me. I think (and hope) that if I were to find a group of "strangers" to run with, I would feel I have to keep up and therefore would push myself harder. That is my theory anyway.
Like I said, I am not positive of what I want to do yet. I have a couple of ideas floating around, but nothing in stone. We shall see.....
"It is his capacity for self-improvement and self-redemption which most distinguishes man from the mere brute."
~AUNG SAN SUU KYI, Freedom from Fear