Blah Blah Ugh!

The title pretty much sums up my mood today - Blah.  Mostly, I am tired and a little overwhelmed with my thoughts. 

I am leaving my kids with a friend - a very wonderful friend - all day tomorrow because my cousin is being buried.  25 years into his life and he is gone. Just. Like. That.  It is really tragic.  For some reason I keep seeing him in my mind as the energetic, athletic, goofy little boy that he once was and what I keep thinking of most is his smile.  He had so much energy and was full of life.  He could run a football or play basketball like no one else I know and he had so much heart.  My little cousin is gone  You just never know what life will bring. We must all cherish our loved ones and even when we don't see people often, just drop a line and send some love and let them know they are loved and thought of because any of us can be gone in an instant - a blink of an eye.  RIP George.  I love you. 

The fall semester started this week and because of issues with financial aid, my runs this week were replaced with 3 trips to the school in 2 days taking 3-4 hours of my time to ensure I had classes to take.  I didn't get all my classes back, but I did get one (Sociology) and I also registered for Pre-calculus with Trigonometry.  I have taken it before and got a B, but I want to up it to an A.  Oh, did I mention that the Pre-calculus is an online class.  Yes, its true - I am a dumb ass.  I am pretty strong in math, so I think I will be okay, but not having someone show me how to do the problems in person may prove to be a little challenging.  But.....I thought about it and I think I am up for the challenge.  Plus, if I can do this and bust out with an A.....WOW! I will feel much more worthy of having G as my mentor.

I haven't worked out the past 2 days. I worked the last 2 nights, so with that, my many trips to the school and trying to sleep, I haven't had any time for exercise, much family time or anything else for that matter.  I am 100% positive a run would do something wonderful for me right now, but I am not sure when I will get it in today, so I am going to do my next favorite thing - yoga.  I know yoga will be good for me.  I so SO <3 yoga.  It is challenging, meditating, relaxing, and such a good workout.  Plus....no matter what, just like a run, I always feel much better after doing it.  I am dropping the kids off at 6:45 in the morning and I am thinking of squeezing in a run at "O'dark hour", as G would say.  It will probably definitely help me prepare for all that the day will bring. 




"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey."
~Kenji Miyazawa

Wordless Wednesday

We all know of 'Wordless Wednesday'. I had something, so I figured I'd try it out and see how it goes....  Maybe you'll see it again..... Maybe you wont.  Either way, enjoy! 

Where's The Munchkin???

Find the He-Munchkin.....

Find the She-Munchkin.....

"Of all of our inventions for mass communication, pictures still speak the most universally understood language."
~Walt Disney

Monday's Medley (On Tuesday) ;-)

 

A 'medley' by definition is "a mixture of things not usually placed together; heterogeneous collection; hodgepodge" or "a mixture of people or things of different kinds." I have given my Monday postings this title because they seem to be just that - a mixture of thoughts, ideas and/or topics. There will always be my past/upcoming week's mileage, but the rest.....is up in the air.

Monday's Medley has been MIA for a couple of weeks, but now....its back! 

I am proud to say that with my 30-Day Challenge, I have been getting in my exercise pretty much daily. HOWEVER, I haven't put in a whole lot of mileage. But that is okay because the challenge was to "workout" every day, not necessarily run every day. Today is day 15, so that means I am at the HALFWAY mark! Wow! I have exercised 10 of the last 15 days. One night I sacrificed for date night w/ Mr. D, another was race night eve & I had a splitting tension headache. I can happily say that only 2 of the NON-workout days has it been because I was simply "lazy".

 Coach T has assigned me to running 4 days a week and I really want to hit that mark. This week I am planning to run 3 more times.

One thing I do want to work on for the 2nd half of the challenge is to RUN more.  Now that the Moonlight 4-miler race is complete,

   

I also faced my fear of running at night.  I have never run at night before and it has been basically because of fear.  What have I feared?? 

• A) The dark?
• B) That I have no 'night-running gear' and could get run down by a blind person driving at night?
• C) The monsters that lurk in the shadows waiting for the lone runner?
• D) A stray animal?

Hmmmm......??  All of those sound pretty accurate so I will go with E) All of the above.

Typically, my plan for an evening run goes like this:

• I make the plan to run at X hour.
• I think of it and mentally plan how my day will go so that I can run at X time
• Get close to X time and realize I am way behind schedule.
• Get to the point that I can go and realize it's "already dark" and that I "can't go out in the dark"
• Shrug shoulders and just chalk it up as just another missed run.

Tonight was different.  I decided that I committed, so I was going to do it.  I just told Mr. D where I was going, planned a short, quick route in the neighborhood (in case I got spooked) and hit the road.  It was okay.  I ran it fast as I could since I was only running a very short run.  It was fine - until someones wanna-be Cujo came after me anyway, but I survived that. It also started raining before I turned around & the rain actually made it hotter and much harder to breath.  Uneven can't even begin to describe my breathing when I finished.  But I am really glad I did it.  I sucked it up and got out there and it was totally cool. 

Here is my plan for the rest of the week:

Wednesday - Run
Thursday - Cardio Yoga
Friday - Run or FIRM Workout (OR both)
Saturday - Run
Sunday - Run

Have a Healthy, Happy Week!!

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
~Dale Carnegie

Moonlight 4-miler Race Report

On Day 10 of my 30 Day Challenge, I checked off a box of my To Do List and ran the Moonlight 4 Miler.  I must say that, mentally, I just wasn't feeling it, but there was no way I could not go.  So I went, and here is how it was.....

I was pretty anxious in general about the race, as I am about pretty much any race.  To add to my normal anxiety, they were calling for storms on race day.  On top of not having the mental motivation to race, I was faced with the looming threat of thunder storms.  Lately, around here, with the heat and humidity, we no longer get rain, we get WTF, power-losing, boom-boom kind of storms.  I was in NO WAY looking forward to that. Anyway, I left the house and it was pouring rain outside.  The weather was horrific.  All I could think as I drove was, "There is something really wrong with this picture.  Driving to run a race in this."  Want to see exactly what "this" is??  Take a look....

See what I'm talkin' about??  Something a bit uncomforting about driving to your race in THAT.  When out in this type of weather, typically words that come to mind are something like nap, snuggle, pajamas, snooze, sofa, home......  NEVER, EVER has the word race come to mind - not once....  But still, on I drove.....

Thanks to wrong directions (and an extremely urgent need to empty my bladder), I felt a little tense when I got there, but I found Coach T right away, so that was great.  Right away, we took this picture (no cameras on rainy race day....)....

Yes, we are adorable..... Thank you for noticing!!

We checked out registration, which wasn't ready yet because of the rain, I found a port-a-potty and then we went back to wait in T's car, where we found Earth Momma Mer.  We hung out a bit in the car, then took a quick picture before picking up our bibs. 

We realize at race start that this is gonna be a steamy one, but there was ice cream at the end, so just run for the cold tasty treat!  The race starts and of course, we see T for about 30-45 seconds before she disappeared in the crowd.  The first half of the race was pretty good.  Mer and I just ran easy catching up on life. 

The course was supposed to be "flat" and "out & back".  It was neither.  While the hills were not super steep, they were constant up/downs.  We went out, hit the turn around, and I thought the turn around came pretty fast, but figured we were headed for the finish.  I was WRONG.  We passed the turn for the finish and continued on for I didn't know how much more.  So that "out and back" was actually, out, back, down and back again.  That is such a throw off for me mentally.  If you say out and back, please be out and back because when I run out, and turn to go back, I expect to be stopping at the finish from there. 

So, mentally, the 3rd mile was pretty tough for me and I realized at that point that I need to work on the mental stuff.  How to overcome when you just aren't making it mentally.  Because we all know that no matter how tired our body is, if you can beat the mental, you can push through and do so much more than you ever think you can. 

It started to downpour again at about 2.5 miles. Really, what would a rainy race have been without downpour, right?  It was gross, but kind of nice because it cooled me off a little.  We caught up w/ T about a 1/2 mile from finish.  She ran with me in and Mer took off to the finish.  I finished as strong as I could and of course, I am so glad I did it.  I have not run 4 miles in almost 3 years, so I am very proud of me. 

I decided, in post-run conversation, that next race, I may find someone to "battle" with on the course.  You know, someone that is around my speed that I can "race" all the way to the finish.  I wonder if that will work for me. 

So, I am another race down, I had a good time doing it, and I got a new had and a new blinking light to show for it.  Oh, and the ice cream - how refreshing!!


How do YOU get past the mental crap when you run, race, or workout??  Do you have any "tools" that you use to bust through it?




"Sunshine is delicious,
Rain is refreshing,
Wind braces us up,
Snow is exhilarating,
There's really no such thing as bad weather,
Only different kinds of good weather."
~Author unknown

NON-Successful Seven

Today is Day 7 of my 30 Day Challenge and today, I found no success in getting my workout in. 

I worked last night until after 3 a.m. so, needless to say, when the munchkins woke this morning at 8, I was still a tad drowsy.  I was moving pretty slow and we managed to get up, dress, have breakfast, and head out to run some MUCH needed errands by somewhere around 11:30/11:45.  We had to get groceries - if we wanted dinner anyway.  So we headed out to the farm that I buy produce, then to Walmart. That in itself took until 2:00.  I also had to go to the library to pickup a book for my new book club (which I am totally excited about, but that's irrelevant right now). 

By the time we got lunch and headed home, it was very close to 3:00.  This is when it occurred to me that I had not planned my workout for the day.  It also occurred to me that I had no clue as to when it would happen.  I had to be at work tonight from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m. again, so it was a must that I get in a nap.  At 3:20, I put the kids in their room and told them I didn't care what they did, just don't come out of the room.  That worked great, by the way.....other than those 5 times they did come out. 

Anyway, my first thought (at 3:35) was to lay down for an hour, get up, workout, cook dinner, eat with the fam, shower & leave for work by 6:40.  Yeah....... I am exhausted and stressed out just from typing all of that.  How 'bout you?

So then I decided I would nap, cook, eat, shower, and go to work.  Then, I would come home - at 3 a.m. - and workout before bed.  My mind tells me I am nutz for this one, but I still haven't dropped the idea because I ended up napping for a constantly interrupted hour and a HALF - much more than I planned, right??  I will see how I feel when I get off work and then make a final decision.

My prediction is that Day 7 will have to be chalked up as a FAIL.  I am trying to not kick myself too bad and tell myself that it really isn't a total fail.  I am trying to keep in mind that I was able to work out SIX days in a row.  I am not thinking of Day 7 as a failure.  I am thinking of it more as a NON-Success.

Bottom line is that seven days ago, I thought it was impossible to run THREE days in a week and I just worked out for SIX days.....IN A ROW!!  Even when I have felt "too tired" or didn't have enough time, I sucked it up and did the best that I could, no matter what. 

No matter what happened with Day 7........

I am really, REALLY trying and that, to me, is SUCCESS in my book.

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.”
~Author Unknown

30-Day Challenge

I love writing a blog.  I wasn't too sure how it would go when I started, but since have found that it is good for me.  Keeps me accountable in a sense because I am putting things, as Coach T would say, "out in the universe."  But just as much as I enjoy writing here, I like reading other blogs.  They motivate, inspire, and encourage me.  I learn new things, relate to others, and constantly am reminded that I am on the right journey and I can do this. 

Last week, I read about Tricia of Endurance Isn't Only Physical, one of my favorite blogs, over at Run Like a Mother.  Tricia talked about how she has lost 128 pounds since January 2009, which I personally think is AMAZING.  If you want to read the whole thing,  here it is.....  Here is what Tricia said about how she got started:

"I made a commitment to myself to work out and eat right for 21 days straight, hoping to form new healthy habits. Well, those habits stuck and I became even more focused and interested in how to be healthy." 

This really stuck out to me because I have really be struggling with how to get my runs and workouts in around kids, work, school and everything else.  I have especially been thinking since my moment of self-reflection.  I like that she started with simply starting with 21 days.  That's doable, right? 

This is where my 30-day challenge was born.  I have challenged myself to work out for 30 days to prove to myself that I can get it in.  If I can do 30 days, I can do a minimum of 5 days a week running & cross-training.  This is all for ME - to prove me wrong, to motivate me, to push myself. 

I started this on Tuesday and have completed Day 4.  So far I am doing pretty good, but again, I am only at Day FOUR.  I am at Day 4 and I have 4 letters for you - S-O-R-E.  Today, I didn't want to do anything - walk, sit, stand, and the stairs......Grrrrr! 

So far, I have done cardio yoga, running, a power circuit video and tonight I did a session of pilates abs and some relaxation yoga (I REALLY needed the stretching).  Tomorrow, I run.  I have worked out at night (9/10 o'clock) for the past 2 nights and will run in the evening tomorrow. 

Now there, it is out in the universe, so I am accountable.  Feel free to email and check up on me, however, I am sure I will be back here to report/whine/kick myself soon enough! 




You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind.
~Darwin P. Kingsley


 

Let Me Introduce.....Sunshine!!

I am too excited!  Scott over at Outside PR hooked me up with my very first Road ID and I looooove it!!!  I have even blessed it with a name - Sunshine. 

Here we are after our first run together.  Don't we look adorable together??

I chose the Wrist ID Elite.  Road ID® had some good things to say about the Wrist ID Elite. Wanna read it?  Here it goes:

"The Wrist ID Elite just might be the sexiest ID in the Road ID lineup. With its rubberized band and watch-style buckle, this sleek ID has you covered on the bike, in the boardroom and everywhere in-between. It's perfect for all of your outdoor activities and knows how to play it cool at formal events. With the Elite, you get valuable peace of mind with a look that’s just right for everyday wear."

"The Wrist ID Elite is a sleek and stylish way to incorporate ID into your active lifestyle. The Wrist ID Elite is fully adjustable and is available in 9 colors (Black, Blue, Red, Yellow, Pink, Purple, Orange, Green and Bone). With all of these great colors, you can get an Wrist ID Elite to match all of your gear. Remember, if you can't speak for yourself, your Wrist Elite ID will speak for you."

Here is what I like about the Road ID:

• Obviously, the relief of knowing that while I am out there, alone or with the munchkins, my most important info is right here in the event that I can not speak for myself.
• There is such a variety of colors and you can buy them all and simply switch the steel plate between bands
• The material - the rubber material is totally WATERPROOF.  I can sweat, shower or whatever else and it will dry quickly and easily. 
• It comes way bigger than needed and is very easy to adjust.  Took me like 2 minutes to adjust mine to the size I wanted.
• It is very lightweight and comfortable.  I have had mine on all day today and pretty much have forgotten it is there. 
• You can have anything you want engraved on the steel plate and you can fit A LOT on it, in my opinion. 
• The ordering process is super easy!  It is interactive and you can see your ID as you build it. 

So what am I trying to tell you??  GO OUT AND GET A ROAD ID if you don't have one! 

There are times in life when an event occurs, and later while having a quiet moment, simply mulling around with my thoughts, deep reflection occurs.  Today I had one of those moments. 

Last night, I worked until 3 a.m., as I do a few times every week.  I typically go straight to bed when I get home because, 1) its after 3 a.m. and I am exhausted, and 2) I know that when the munchkins wake, so do I.  This usually gives me about 4 hours of sleep - unless Mr. D is home.  On those occasions, I usually ask him to get the munchkins breakfast and then wake me - giving me maybe an extra hour or so.  This morning was a bit different. 

This morning, I slept until after noon - yes, people..... that's  12 : 00.  WTH???  HOW does this happen, you (and I) ask??  Well, normally - as I mentioned - they wake me after breakfast.  Today, didn't happen quite that way.  Today.....the kids came up, woke me briefly (for who knows what) then left so I, as any tired person would do, fell back to sleep.  When I woke again, it was after 12:00.  After I asked, "Why didn't you all wake me up?" it was then that I realized Mr. D was mad.  Yes, he was mad because HE was tired and it was time for him to go to work and there was no time for him to lay down any more.

Side note: Mr. D got home from work last night around 10:15 and was happily snoring when I got in the bed, so he definitely got more sleep than me - I suspect at least two hours. Also, it is a regular thing that I get up with the kids and he sleeps until time to get up, shower, and head to work.

Let me stop here and say that this post is NOT - I repeat - NOT in any way about hubby-bashing, this is all about ME. It is about me because when I realized that I slept as long as I did and that he would not be able to go back to bed, I. felt. guilty. I felt like I was the *ss in the situation and it was my fault for sleeping too long. I even sent an apology text stating I "didn't intend to sleep that late" and that "I guess I was tired."



Thinking back on this, I have issues with all of this on so many levels.  Lets focus on the issues with me:

1.  "I guess I was tired"??  Really?  OF COURSE I was tired!!  I should not feel the need  to say this.  I worked until THREE in the MORNING when I went all day with errands, 2 kids, and NO nap!  Anyone would be tired!  Most people that work the shift I do have no kids or kids in school or someone to help with their kids while they sleep.  So why is it that I don't accept that I too may be tired?

2.  I should NOT feel badly because I was tired, slept, and didn't wake until late.  If they wanted me up, they should have come and woke me up.  I should NOT feel guilty about this.  So why did I? 

3.  Why wouldn't I have held Mr. D accountable for being pissed off because he didn't get the sleep that I needed more? I deserve to get sleep just like the next person, but when this situation arises, I feel like I have deprived him of something.  Where is my self-attained entitlement?  The answer is somewhere with the answers to the other questions. 

The bottom line is I fail over and over to put myself as a priority - in my running, my basic needs (like sleep), and many other ways.  Today, it came to me that this is UNACCEPTABLE!  Mrs. D is important too!  I need sleep!  I need exercise!  I need many things that I continue to deprive myself of.  Many women do this is some way, shape, or form.  I often feel I do it more than average.  This has to CHANGE.  I need move ME up on the totem pole because I am worth it. 

Attaining the title of MOTHER or WIFE does not diminish the the importance of the title WOMAN.




“Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.”
~Barbara De Angelis

Monday's Medley

A 'medley' by definition is "a mixture of things not usually placed together; heterogeneous collection; hodgepodge" or "a mixture of people or things of different kinds."  I have given my Monday postings this title because they seem to be just that - a mixture of thoughts, ideas and/or topics.  There will always be my past/upcoming week's mileage, but the rest.....is up in the air.


Last Week's Mileage....
- 2.9miles ran

This Weeks Plan...
- DO BETTER!!


So.....I would like to simply erase the month of July - in regards to running and fitness anyway.  This has been a horrible month.  I have barely run or done anything in the past 3 weeks & I am not loving it.  But.....one musn't cry over spilt milk, right?  Just clean it up & keep it movin', so that's what I'm doin - movin' on.....


I won my first giveaway!! Yeah! *happy happy happy dance*  I won a $40 gift card to CSN and I don't know WHAT I should get!  They have so many products - cookware, luggage, toys, home decor and TONS more! So I thank you, Laurie over at The (Mis)Adventures of a Jogging Stroller Mom!   How fun is it to shop for FREE! 


My next race, the Moonlight 4-miler,is in EIGHT days!  Wow! 


After this race, I have will be bumping up my running to 4 days a week.  This makes me anxious already.  I have had trouble getting in 3 runs, and now I must go to 4?  AND I have to cross-train at least once a week.  I am not sure HOW this is going to happen, I just know that it HAS to happen - no matter what.  NO EXCUSES!  [Feel free to hold me to this]